September 20th, 1996
Dear Diary -
The Grizz finally clinched the playoffs today. Well, they actually clinched it back in July when they were 43 games up on the 2nd place Racine Sewers, but we didn't officially celebrate it until today. I was 4 mojitos deep by 4pm!!!!! Can you believe it? Dad and Unkie were doing body shots all morning. Sometimes they even took them off of other people. They're daring.
They started to tell stories of the summer they met when the Griz went to the playoffs and started out so well then ultimately lost out to the Whale's Vagina Priests. It was a long story, but from what I came up with, Unkie and Dad were both sloshed and they ran into each other in the bathroom. They both had to go really bad, and they crossed swords, and the rest was history. They both couldn't remember what happened at the end of game b/c they were at the concession stand. They kept talking about how somebody had hid the salami.
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